By guest author Luciana Karine de Souza
When we hear about peace we typically think of wars, violence, terrorism, and such, but psychologists, philosophers, and others also pursue understanding of the factors leading to and endangering peace of mind.
Santa Maria nightclub fire location. © OpenStreetMap contributors. Data available under the Open Database License; cartography is licensed as CC-BY-SA. See http://www.openstreetmap.org/copyright.
I live approximately 286 km (177 miles) from the city of Santa Maria, Brazil, scene of the tragic nightclub fire that killed over 200 people in January. I know the city and I know the Federal University of Santa Maria (UFSM).
Most of the victims of the fire were from UFSM. They were there in mid-summer (temperatures near 104F) because for many months last year, professors had gone on strike for better career plans and salary.
Thus many victims were in Santa Maria taking classes, studying, and preparing themselves for a future they will never have.
Should I feel relief at not knowing anyone related to this catastrophe? Should I sigh and thank the Universe that it did not affect anyone I know? Should I be thankful for life, and family, and friends, and all things good I still have, none of them affected?
For many like me, happiness at being spared does not happen. After such a tragedy, it is very, very difficult to find peace of mind. The mind “feels” strong energy waves throughout the day, waves filled of lifting souls asking why, why do we close our eyes to the need to prevent such tragedies.
For now it is very hard to find peace of mind, mostly because anyone who felt in any way connected to what happened in Santa Maria lost a piece of their hearts.
Every day around the world, people die dreadful deaths, preventable deaths, and the people touched by these deaths lose a piece of their hearts and their peace of mind.
Why do we still believe we can beat death, fire, and terror, and ignore laws and regulations, investment in prevention, safety measures, and so on? And when will we learn that all lives matter?
Luciana Karine de Souza is a full professor at Federal University of Minas Gerais, Brazil. Her teaching and research involves personality and social development in psychology, education and leisure.
While fastening my seat belt in a friend’s car, I recalled a recent preventable tragedy that happened to two people, a driver and passenger. There was an accident that threw them to the street. If they had only had the seat-belt habit, they would be alive today.
Thanks for your comment. In the state I live in Brazil, called Rio Grande do Sul, it was only when the government decided to really look for people not using seat-belts that most of the population started to use it. It is hard now even to drive to the next corner without it!
Thank you so much for posting this Luciana – it really brings to light how tragedies can affect everyone, not just the people involved or even closely related to the event. I’m originally from New York City and this (quite vividly) reminds of the 9/11 attacks. I was very young at the time but I did have a close friend who lost her father in one of the towers. Although my family members were alright and everyone was safe in my neighborhood, I couldn’t help but feel an unnerving sense of fear, sadness and anger. Like you described, it was hard to feel a holistic sense of peace knowing that other people lost a piece of their hearts. Yes, I was relieved that the people I loved the most were okay but I don’t think I could have felt completely at peace knowing that that kind of tragedy happened a few miles away and took away lives. But it also brings to light that these tragedies seem to have to happen for us to open our eyes to what’s really going on the world and how lives aren’t regarded (or treated) the way they are supposed to.
This post brings to light how violence is so embedded in our culture and how it affects us, not only in the micro level, but the macro one too. Many times we can get too wrapped up in the specific factors and predictors of abuse, violence, war instead of trying to actively find ways to treat it and console those who have gone through their own tragedies. For example, an empirically validated treatment program for children who are victims of sexual abuse is trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy involving “psycho education; parenting skills training; anxiety management; exposure; and enhancing future safety and development” (Hines & Malley-Morrison, Family Violence in the United States, 2013). And with this behavioral therapy, over 14 studies have proven CBT to be effective in reducing maladaptive symptoms in the child victims (Hines & Malley-Morrison, Family Violence in the United States, 2013). So, doesn’t this provide that glimmer of hope we’re all seeking after? Although it still does not provide me (and probably a lot of other humanitarians out there) with a completely sense of peace, wouldn’t statistics and information like that spark our desire to promote that peace we’re missing and to pursue after it? We still believe that we can beat death, fire, and terror because of those numbers, because of cases where hope is still alive. This makes me want to focus more on the environment we provide for people who have gone through tragedies and misfortunes. How can we build a place where people feel safe, loved, at peace? How can we develop an environment where all lives are important, recognized, & not forgotten?
Thank you so much for your inspired reply. It really takes me there with you when I read you words. Nice exchanging this energy with you. Peace to your mind, and to your heart!
This post reminds me of the Family Violence course that I am currently taking. We’ve been learning a lot about the child maltreatment that occurs across the country as well as on the global scale. Often times, its easy to distance yourself from these problems because it is hard to identify personally with them, especially if you haven’t experienced violence yourself. Additionally, after learning about the different kinds of family violence that is so evident in our culture, it’s easy to dismiss these deep issues and merely be thankful that these issues aren’t ours. However, as this blog post states, instead of distancing ourselves from these issues, there must be a heart of urgency that seeks to bring about transformation in this culture that is so deeply embedded in violence. Whether or not we have experienced violence for ourselves, by standing on the sidelines watching it all unfold, we are condoning this culture of violence. As this blog states, we must not close our eyes to the ways where we can take action and bring about intervention and prevention for those who are at-risk or already exposed to and experiencing violence in their lives. Our cultural beliefs in regard to family matters contributes to cultivating a violent society (Malley-Morrison & Hines, Family Violence in a Cultural Perspective). With family violence in particular, it is important to not view it as a private matter no longer so that people can be open and honest about what is going on in the family, declaring that violence in the family will no longer be part of our culture. Across cultures, violence in children and in the family is something that can no longer be accepted and while we can’t completely eliminate it all at once, one way we can work to push against violence is to simply take a stance on this issue. Our cultural attitudes about violence affect the laws that we have in our society today, which either causes us to allow violence to continue to exist or to protect people from it (Malley-Morrison & Hines, 30)
Yes, there are families, and there are families. Some of them I believe shouldn´t even be called a family. Very sad. I do believe, though, in family planning, and in adult awareness of what it means to generate a family. It is more than doing “what should be done”, more than doing “what everyone else does”, more than doing “because one can finantially afford it”. It is even harder to see families loosing their youngsters in a tragedy such as the one I wrote about. Already 241 had died, and there are still six in critical condition. And this was last January. Thanks for your insights!
At first news of a catastrophe or tragic event, we sigh in relief of finding out our loved ones were not affected, but we must keep in mind that someone else’s loved ones were harmed. With this understanding, the public needs to also be more aware of their surroundings in efforts to prevent needless deaths and assaults. Just because it is not someone you know who is being affected, does not mean you should turn a blind eye to the injustices around you.
A good example of preventable deaths and assaults can be exemplified in college student relationships. In college student relationships, men and women are found to initiate violence with their partners, and about 1 in 5 students were found to experience an act of physical violence within a year (H&MM 211). In addition, over 90% of college men and women reported psychological maltreatment by their partners in a sample conducted in 1998 (H&MM 224). One of the biggest problems on college campuses is the issue raised with sexual victimization. Over 70% of students reported sexual victimization by the end of their college careers (H&MM 228). The most controversial aspect of these assaults is that over half of them involve the use of alcohol. Alcohol allows perpetrators take advantage of the intoxicated person, heightens their aggression, and more.
When analyzing these statistics, one must consider the cues of such assaults. On college campuses, peers are very involved in each other’s lives. It would be hard to let these maltreatments go without being noticed, whether the victimization occurs in a public party setting or back home in an apartment/dorm where roommates or neighbors can overhear. So why are so many cases not reported or not stopped? We must realize that as witnesses, we play a huge role in helping the victim; whether that victim is known to you or not, their health and wellness lies in your decision to report the violence.
Note: Statistics taken from Hynes, Malley-Morrison, and Dutton “Family Violence in the United States: Defining, Understanding, and Combating Abuse”