Second and final in a series by guest author Dot Walsh
Using his own experience to connect with victims of violence and trauma, Father Michael Lapsley sees himself as a wounded healer:
“My visible brokenness creates a bond with others whose brokenness is often less visible but just as real. The truth is that pain unites human beings. In my work as a healer, many people say they can trust me because I know pain.”
In 1998, Lapsley came to the United States and began working with non-profits providing programs for victims of domestic violence. He helped establish the Institute for Healing of Memories (IHOM) as a non-profit with partnerships in this country and has worked with veterans through an organization called the Warrior to Citizen Campaign. He trains facilitators to set up workshops for veterans, many of whom are homeless or living in transitional housing.
Creating a safe environment for the workshops is essential because many participants, especially veterans, carry layers of pain they are unwilling to share with strangers. Since telling one’s story is the beginning of the healing process, trust has to be developed so that a person can feel comfortable enough to talk openly. One veteran described this process as “peeling the onion of my pain.”
Listening carefully and then acknowledging someone’s pain is a next step. As Lapsley explained, without acknowledging the pain, there can be no healing. One veteran who spoke in a recent workshop told people this was the first time in 41 years he was able to talk openly about what he experienced in war.
I came away from my interview with Lapsley with an understanding of the commonalities of all the trauma rooted in our commonality as one human family and of the importance of telling our stories and having them acknowledged.
The effects of trauma can leave a person as a victim or as a victor depending on the choice made. Fr. Lapsley says, “In the end, what matters most is whether we are able to transform pain into a life-giving force.”
Dot Walsh is a lifelong peace activist and member of the Engaging Peace board of directors